…vacuity

Transcendence (2014) Dir. Wally Pfister

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A movie that proves terrible dialogues, bland characters, empty, boring plot, and lack of any conflict whatsoever can still be found in a Hollywood production, at the same time aspiring to pseudo-intellectual debate about man versus machine. The creators clearly didn’t do their homework. Have you learned nothing from The Matrix, guys?

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…vrrr

He’s Just Not That Into You (2009) Dir. Ken Kwapis

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Very lukewarm and boring, this weird multiple celebrity-headed monster speaks in outdated clichés. The message contradicts the ending. It does not make any effort to be anything but another all-white straight rom-com for young & beautiful. Sex and the City got the sex and relationship talk covered a decade ago, including the “He’s just not that into you” message (dah!). Avoid by all means!

…voyager

About Time (2013) Dir. Richard Curtis

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A superhero story with an awkward everyman Tim (Domhnall Gleeson), who possesses a super power of time travel. As in all superhero stories, he fights crime (he’s a lawyer), uses his powers to do good, and gets the most beautiful girl (always adorable Rachel McAdams). The only one who knows Tim’s secret is his father (Bill Nighy), who gives Tim the wisest piece of advice: “I’ve never bumped into a genuinely happy rich person.”

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…Valentine

Blue Valentine (2010) Dir. Derek Cianfrance

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It dissects love like you dissect a frog, stretching it like you stretch out the dead frog’s limbs, unnecessary & oppressive. It tries to define ‘romantic’ and then compares it with all possible scenarios how a relationship can go wrong. What is really the message here? That love is not enough? Or maybe that two people are not enough? My message: skip it.

Long days, pleasant nights,
Veronica Bazydlo

…variable

Blue Jasmine (2013) Dir. Woody Allen

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The class system in today America is alive and well. Woody Allen takes two women to present that. Ginger (Sally Hawkins) is a working-class single mother, whereas her sister Jasmine (Cate Blanchett) is upper-class wife to a business tycoon. Yet, there is more than just money that makes them so far apart.

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